I am feeling very upset today. Yesterday was hard too. I am not quite myself and I don't think I will be for a little while. I just completely broke down yesterday when Ethan was giving me a hard time about going to work. I know being upset is normal and usually I can control my emotions, but for some reason I am having a really hard time this time. I am in a lot of pain today due to a lot of cramping. I wasn't bleeding a lot until today. I'm sure that is normal too. Work was hard last night even though everyone was really cool about the situation. Tonight should be a little bit easier. The smallest things upset me. I broke down crying over not being able to get a towel out of the drawer yesterday. The only thing keeping me smiling is my husband and son. They really are the best and I am so lucky to have such a great family. Ethan has been so awesome lately. I think he knows I am sad and he'll just come up to me and give me a hug and kiss just when I need it.
This week is a busy one. I have to get the house ready for Grammy to come home. My birthday is tomorrow and the local carnival (venetian fest) opens, so we are going out for some fun, friends, food, beer and rides. I work during the day tomorrow and thursday and on friday, we are heading to North Dakota with our stop at the Mall of America. Very busy week. Hopefully all that is going on will take my mind of terrible things and I can enjoy my family.
Sorry for the ranting, I have a bad headache and can't really string good sentences together. I'm hoping the medicine kicks in really soon.
5 comments:
Aww, I'm so sorry to hear that you have had a bad couple of days! I know there will be plenty of them, but I still hate to hear that. Working when you don't feel good is bad enough, but to deal with the pain and emotional stuff on top is sure to be hard. Hang in there! I hope when you spend time with your friends and go on your trip, it will give you a small break and you will get to enjoy some nice things. So glad that Ethan and Ryan are there for you to help you through! I remember Shaydon doing similar things to me. Those hugs from our boys are the best! Hope you feel better soon... It is normal to have some difficulty, but if it's really bothering you, or it's lingering longer than you think it should, be sure to talk to your doctor!
Thinking about you as always!
Oh sweetie! It's ok to be upset and cry! Mourn however you need to!
Happy birthday tomorrow! I hope it's a happier day!
Still holding you in my heart.
Oh, Heather. It's a rough go, and I'm sorry you have to do it. It's not ranting. There is a lot going on in your head now and you're sorting it all out. My heart breaks a little when I read your entries. You're doing good though. One day at a time. God bless you.
Hope you are feeling a little better. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you!
oh my gosh, heather. i just finally read about your miscarriage and i can't believe it. i can't imagine how you must feel. ethan really is a special kid and a miracle for you and ryan. i hope someday your family will grow if that's what you still desire. i know you still have a lot of information to find out, but i'm wishing you the best. please give yourself the time and space you need to deal with all of this - don't expect to bounce right back to "normal" because you really can't and aren't expected to. you, ryan and ethan are in my prayers. continue to lean on each other:)
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